Now that the 2016 Rio Olympics are on the books, we wanted to take a look back out our favorite 10 moments. Because let’s be real: Beers were drank and at least one U-S-A chant broke out in front of the TV every 10 minutes or so. And then we had more beers.
10. When we got The Full Mongolian. After an unfavorable call, Team Mongolia’s coaches stripped in protest.
9. When we met #RobelTheWhale. And found out that body shaming was one of those things the whole world has in common.
8. When a greased-up guy twerked for Tonga. And proved that the real winner of the Opening Ceremony was that little map in the corner re-teaching us all 10th grade geography.
7. When the Crimson Wave hit the pool. We continue to give mad props to Fu Yuanhui for keeping it real.
6. When Team Photoshop also won gold. Ellen, we love you.
4. When the paramedics dropped the ball. Samir Aït Saïd wasn’t supposed to literally break a leg. And the paramedics weren’t supposed to then drop him.
3. When the Fiancé of Former Miss California won some medals. And proved that some headline writers need to lay off the machismo sauce.
2. When Ryan Lochte made us proud. And proved that shit could get worse than his green hair.
1. When Maryland flexed. Take that Alabama.
Welcome to Summer Sessions. We’re looking forward to having you here at the brewery, drinking good beer, catching an amazing live show and enjoying a life-changing experience. With all that in mind, we anticipated your questions and have provided you with our best answers.
Q. Mom says she has to cut my hair before she lets me out of the house. What is the timeline for Saturday?
A. Is she still just putting the bowl over your head and cutting along the line? That’s rough. Get here right when doors open and we’ll see if we can help. Here is schedule of events:
5:30 pm Doors open 6:30 pm People’s Blues of Richmond kick off the show 7:45 pm Galactic takes the stage
- 5:00 pm Doors Open
- 6:00 pm GALACTIC takes the stage
Q. I plan on having more than two drinks at this shindig, but I need to eat so I don’t miss the end of the show again. What is the food situation?
A. A good base and the constant addition of food based calories is also on our to do list for the day. We don’t want any impromptu verses of Temple of The Dog’s Hunger Strike ruining the show so we asked some of our food truck friends to join the party including:
Q. If the tasting room isn’t open during the show, how are we supposed to get beer?
A. We bring the beer to you of course. What kind of sick brewery invites 1,200 friends over and doesn’t serve beer? Here is what we are hawking on the lawn:
- Draft: Dead Rise OLD BAY Summer Ale, Raging Bitch Belgian-Style IPA, Doggie Style Pale Ale, Fever Dream Mango Habanero IPA, Sawbones Ginger Table Beer, Heat Series Ancho Lime Paradise Lager
- Cans: Easy IPA, Bloodline Blood Orange Ale, Snake Dog IPA, Numero Uno Agave Cerveza
- Firkins: Snake Dog with extra columbus hops, Doggie Style Pale Ale with lemon, ginger and cardamon, Bloodline with cocoa and vanilla
Q. Someone super soaked me last time I tried to light up at the brewery. Are you making a smoking exception for this event?
A. To preserve the quality of your sensory experience, the event is smoke-free and there is no re-entry once you’re inside of our magical gates. You leave the smokes and vapes at home and we’ll leave the Super Soakers at home.
Q. My dog Beethoven loves Galactic and People’s Blues even more than me. Can he come to the show?
A. Charles Grodin is that you again? You know the deal, no pooches at Summer Sessions. We only have enough space to accommodate the beer drinking humans that will be on the lawn.
A. She sounds like a saint, and while we would love to oblige just to see her handy work, we didn’t book Kenny G for a reason. We want you up and moving, getting that blood flowing and meeting your neighbors. That’s what its all about. Whoever coined that business about the Hokey Pokey was a liar.